Opening my wallet and dumping the contents out the car window while traveling at 80 mph down the interstate would have yielded the same results.

So I took on a job recently that left me with that feeling of, 'Shit, do I really want to be doing this type of work?' and, 'Damn, who can I underpay to get this job done for me while I make a little something for myself?'. This met with disastrous results by way of several deep scratches in the tempered glass upon delivery, by the way; but I digress.

The idea of being able to 'do it all' in my field of work is enticing; as, no doubt, in many other careers, I assume. So all of this not-wanting-to-be-outdone-by-the-overachieving-high school-age-supermarket-clerk-who-displays-his 'perfect-attendance' pin-with-pride, all of this social pressure led me to agree to take on a project that was neither carefully planned (on my end, apparently) nor profitable to anyone but the giant local hardware store that received a panicked phone call from me on Saturday evening at, say, 8:12 pm to reorder another door to begin reworking the order.

So the next time I see Lance at the Payless Supermarket, with his dumb little shiny pin, I'll be sure to squint my eyes and crinkle my nose nastily at him for the unintentional contribution he had to my recently failed project and at my own stupidity for subbing work out to an artist with an abundance of testosterone and a Popeye complex.